When Writing Your Personal Vows!
In my oppinion personal vows are a powerful statement of love that reminds you once again of why you matter so much to one another. It can be said and done in many different ways, but personal vows are not for everyone. Not having personal vows does not mean anything except that as a couple, soon to be married, you chose to do so.
If you are not quite sure on what to do, read on, this post might bring some light and help you decide.When contemplating about writing your own vows there a a few things to look into before you even start writing or give it to much thought:
1. Talk to Each Other
After you decided that you want or do not want to have personal vows run it by your significant other and make sure you are both on the same page. To some people writing and expressing their feelings comes easy, yet to others is a very personal thing.
2. Understand and Respect
Remember to always find middle ground and respect each others decisions. To you having personal vows might mean the world, but your significant other for a reason or other dislike the idea of having personal vows. Instead of just dropping it and feeling sad, talk to your partner and try to understand where he or she is coming from.
3. Ask Questions and Help
You could find out that it is a little thing as “I do not know where to start and I feel overwhelmed just thinking about it” or it could be something like “I do not want to talk about my personal feelings in front of an audience.” Sometimes we just need a little push. If this is the case make sure you help a sister/brother out :).Keep in mind that whatever the reason may be you can always find middle ground.
4. Get on the Same Page
If you get to the agreement that you both will share personal vows keep in mind that he or she might feel uneasy to share certain feelings in front of family and friends, but might be okay to talk in a funny way about them or leave them out completely and turn the vows in a completely different direction. If this is the case make sure you find out what should never be mentioned and what tone will your vows be set on.
If you get to the agreement that there won’t be personal vows in front of an audience, but you are still trying to find middle ground maybe you should consider reading the vows to each other in private. If that is not an option then consider exchanging letters and read them before walking down the aisle or both agree before the wedding that personal vows are not for you! As long as both of you are on the same page that is all that matters in the end.
5. Ask Your Church/Officiant
I doubt that this happens often, but before you go to the trouble ask your church/officiant if personal vows are allowed. You definitely do not want to go through all of the steps above of finding middle ground just to find out that you are not allowed to have personal vows.
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Mari and George